Time off is supposed to energize. Get one relaxed, ready to take on the day. Vacationers are supposed to return to work…excited and prepared to tackle whatever is headed their direction.
And yet. I always end up dreading the very end of a vacation.
Last night – the night before my first day back to work – I sat at my computer, willing myself to log on and see how many emails I’d missed. I fidgeted. Got a beer. Checked my gmail. Waited to see if anyone interesting logged on to gchat. Thought about how I should have worked over the weekend. Reminded myself that work is for the work-week, and not for weekENDs. Replied to gmails I’d skimmed but hadn’t thought too much about. Again pondered signing in to work email.
In the end, I went to bed, putting off work email for another ten hours or so.
(The good thing about delaying work is that I work out WAY more. I only hit snooze once before heading out for a run this morning)
Finally I had to go in, though. I arrived at my cubicle to a vague sense of uneasiness. What had I left undone? Were there emergencies? Where did all that paper on my desk come from…am I really that messy?? Was two days away one too many?
Such thoughts were swirling as I opened my email inbox. Turned off my out-of-office. And got to deleting.
- First I deleted the four different financial newsletters I subscribe to. (Three days’ worth.)
- Next it was the “Quotes of the Day” sent by the hot trainer (he also sends them to my personal account so I don’t have to worry about losing out).
- Then the 50 or so spam emails that make it through Microsoft’s amazing security and junk mail filters (not to mention our firewall!).
- After that I sorted for “Subject” and deleted any chains that appeared resolved.
- Finally, I moved to the totally separate inbox I manage…which is in direct support of a system I’m supposed to administer…and deleted most of the incoming messages there. (Assumption being – if it’s important, they’ll re-email. Customer service has never been my strong suit.)
So after all the deleting…more checking of the gmail…and seeing what the latest was in celebrity newsland…I finally got around to reading the actual work-related emails.
There were five.
- Three were meeting requests (two of which had been canceled and/or rescheduled by the time I found them).
- One was a reminder to complete a survey (that expired while I was away).
- One was a message from our CEO trying to minimize panic regarding our stock price.
I looked at the five emails waiting for me. None were actionable, and none were such that they couldn’t have waited.
I should have taken the entire week off. Clearly, I’d returned because of my own over-inflated sense of importance. No one needed my help. In fact, from the looks of my decluttered inbox, I’m not sure anyone but the Nigerian spammers noticed I was away.
I’d had four glorious days of no deadlines, no questions, no fire drills. No quizzes from the supermanager, no debate over what time to leave.
I sagged in my pilfered conference room chair (so much more comfortable than cubicle stock). Realized that dreading returning to work wasn’t about how much work missed me…but rather how much I missed work. No one had pestered me. No one had died. No one had even missed me.
I guess the world really does turn, whether I’m there to push it along or not.
Every day another story -
Sofie
